Myself is an Epidemic

My English 101 teacher would not pass a student if she could not master basic grammar. Most of us graduated from high school with these skills. Others of us, however, had to take the test more than once to be eligible for sophomore status. We all make mistakes and typos here and there. But if you consistently make the same “mistake,” you just do not know the correct way (just yesterday I told someone in an email that “we road from Raleigh,” but I know that I was wrong).

There are certain things that really bother me. “Myself” rates at the top of my list. “Myself” is chronically misused. And the worst part about this misuse is that, I think, most people are actually trying to do the right thing. For whatever reason, they believe that “me” or “I” is incorrect and use “myself” instead. Sometimes I think “myself” is used in an attempt to be more formal. “Me” and “I” are correct and should be used where they belong. “Myself” is a reflexive pronoun! Here’s a tip: never use “myself” unless you have used “I” first; “myself” cannot stand alone. As in, “I fixed the car myself” or “I can help myself.” Never, ever say “the committee members are John, Sarah, and myself.” You would never say “myself is on the committee” (although I am sure there are people out there who would, much to my chagrin), so why would you use “myself” because there is an additional noun?

I also hate quotation marks where they do not belong (forget about where to put the punctuation mark around them) and unnecessary or excessive use of apostrophes. My last name ends with an S. There are people out there who believe that, when referring to my husband and me collectively, that do not need to pluralize our name. The fact that it ends in an S does not make it plural! One Jones is not the same as two Joneses. The Jones house is not the same as the Joneses’ house. Is it possible that most of us to not know when an apostrophe is used to contract two words instead of indicate something is plural? I actually saw a sign in a shop that read, “Available size’s.” I, of course, had to tell the shopkeeper it was incorrect. And why is it becoming acceptable to start sentences with “however,” even when it is used to mean nonetheless? There are so many others.

I blame it on the rise of “reality” television. We regularly see people on TV misusing and abusing the English language. This is what we are teaching our children. Sigh.

I realize that there are bigger problems in the world than bad grammar. There are other causes that need my attention. I am in a profession, however, where I have to write (and read) reports, policy documents, and newsletters on a daily basis, so I suppose I am particularly sensitive to these things. The bottom line, I suppose, is that if you’re going to do something, do it right. How is it possible that so many graduate not only from high school and college, but from graduate school, and they cannot correctly construct a sentence in their native language?

I totally judge you when you use poor grammar.